Finding Joy in the Everyday Mess
Choosing Connection with Family Over Chores
In Heartful Note #3, I shared the overwhelming feeling that sometimes creeps in when I see my home in its full, unfiltered state: toys scattered, crumbs from the kids’ breakfast, mail piled on the entry table, shoes by the door, and throw blankets covering the floor. Sunday, I found myself once again at that familiar crossroads. There was chaos everywhere, but there was also something else—a sense of aliveness in the kids' laughter, their curiosity, and the little scenes playing out across the room.
Instead of rushing to clean up or letting the weight of it all pull me down, I made a conscious choice. I decided to embrace the moment and be with my family in the here and now. And, with one shift in perspective, an ordinary Sunday night turned into a rich night.
“Sometimes, it’s not about clearing the mess but about choosing to enjoy the moment within it.”
Choosing Presence Over Perfection
In the past, I might have let the clutter consume my thoughts—the endless tasks piling up for the week, the state of the house, and all those little 'shoulds' that come with trying to keep everything just right. But as I looked around, I reminded myself that I had a choice: to lean into the warmth of my family’s presence or to slip back into the familiar pull of frustration.
I took a few deep breaths, noticing the kids fully engaged in their little worlds. Sage, our youngest, was exploring every corner of the room, her curiosity taking her from toy to toy, like a little adventurer on a beach hunt. John was stretched out on the carpet, deeply focused on building a masterpiece in Minecraft, while Eli’s voice carried over from the other room as he excitedly chatted with friends over Fortnite. My husband had gone to AutoZone with our daughter LilyRose, his little helper, to finish up repairs on our oldest son Jared’s car. This was our Sunday in all its realness, and it was mine to savor or rush through.
“In choosing to be present, we give ourselves the gift of seeing the beauty in the mess.”
Embracing the Moment with a Simple, Heartfelt Meal
Dinner is often where connection truly finds its rhythm in our family, and that night I wanted something comforting, something that matched the warmth I was feeling as I watched my family at ease. So, we decided on “breakfast for dinner”—the family's absolute favorite. We made bacon, sunny-side-up eggs, hash browns, pancake puffs with maple syrup, and Spanish scrambled eggs, with avocado.
It was an instant hit. LilyRose declared it “the best dinner ever,” and the laughter around the table was infectious. My husband's smile was priceless, and in that moment, my heart felt so full. Right there in the middle of the chaos—there was our family, sharing a meal and a memory we’d carry with us. It wasn’t perfect, but it was real. It was beautiful.
The most comforting meals aren’t always fancy; they’re the ones that bring us closer together."
Building Connection Through Shared Responsibility
After dinner, we embraced a family cleanup session. It wasn’t just about tidying up; it was about coming together to care for our space and, by extension, each other. I took on the dining area and kitchen while Rolando and the kids tackled the living room, foyer, and bedrooms.
We took turns keeping an eye on Sage, who, in her baby way, added her unique touch by redistributing items faster than we could put them away. But even in the messiness, there was joy and cooperation. We each took on a task, contributing in our own way, and this turned our Sunday night cleanup into something meaningful, where even the simplest actions felt like acts of love.
“When we share responsibilities, even the simplest tasks become acts of love.”
Reflecting on the Balance of Joy and Responsibility
As I cleaned, I reflected on how different the night felt because of one small choice: the decision to approach our time together from a place of love, rather than the desire for control. After indulging in the comfort food, I felt grateful to be moving around, knowing that even a little activity was a healthy counterbalance.
But more than that, I felt deeply content. We ended up postponing our Beetlejuice movie night to Halloween because we got caught up in interesting conversations as we cleaned. Together, we dreamed up ideas for Thursday’s Halloween dinner and pumpkin carving, discussed candy distribution plans, and even paused to catch moments of the San Francisco 49ers vs Dallas Cowboys football game on TV. We were savoring the present while looking forward to the special moments ahead. This experience was a reminder that I have the power to create a heartful home not by chasing perfection, but by being present, choosing love, and trusting that each small moment of connection adds to our foundation.
“In the end, it’s often the little choices, made with love, that bring the most joy and peace.”
Invitation to Explore: Heartful Practices to Bring Presence into Your Home
If you’re looking to spark more connection into your own family life, here are a few simple, heartful practices that have brought peace and joy into our home:
Connection Over Meals: Pick a meal that’s easy and comforting—something everyone can help prepare and enjoy together. Let the focus be on sharing the moment, rather than creating something elaborate.
Chores as Connections: After dinner, invite everyone to pitch in with tidying up. Frame it as a shared responsibility and a way to care for your space, with no pressure for perfection.
Pause for Connection: When the busyness of life feels heavy, give yourself permission to slow down, take a deep breath, and choose where you want to focus—on love or worry. The mess will wait; the heartful memories won’t.
“In a heartful home, the moments we remember are the ones where we choose connection over control.”
What I Learned About Me
As the night wound down, our home felt transformed—not because it was spotless, but because it was filled with moments of laughter, love, and a quiet kind of peace. By choosing presence over perfection, I felt closer to my family and more grounded in what truly matters. This journey toward a heartful home isn’t about erasing all the mess or meeting some unattainable ideal; it’s about creating memories that feel as real and lived-in as the spaces we share.
“A heartful home is more than what we see; it’s the love, laughter, and memories preserved in each corner.”
Let’s Connect Over Our Heartful Practices
I’d love to hear from you—how do you bring moments of connection into your home? Whether it’s a small practice or a cherished family tradition, let’s inspire each other by sharing what makes our homes heartful.
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Live Heartfully,
Claudia💛